"Fuck Ups" Lead to Vital Epiphanies: Twin Flame Energy Update 14th December 2018

Welcome back to another twin flame energy update. I hope you are doing well and excited for the holiday season! Not long now, time is flying by!

Today's energy update is going to be about karmic cycles and how the twins have broken through them and are learning vital lessons from the experience. We are amidst one of the greatest shifts I have ever experienced both within my own connection and within the collective in over 15 years of my journey on this path. I will be talking again about the "tower" moment that many twin flames have experienced within their connection. By "tower moment" I am referring to an experience that really jolted you awake, often in an initially painful way. Likely your twin flame did or didn't do something and it made you realise that you were holding on too tightly and over-giving to your twin from a place of fear. Although you were hurt, (hopefully) the experience made you realise your own error in looking outside of yourself for the love you need to first cultivate within. The masculine was the divine messenger to make you reach this vitally important epiphany. 

I am going to talk about the karmic cycles that lead up to this tower moment from both the divine masculine and feminine's point of view and what's going on now since the illusions crumbled. Yes, it really was a blessing in disguise. What once appeared to be a solid foundation between you, crumbled to make you see there were many illusions, fears and wounds tangled up in that foundation, i.e. the foundation was faulty. Even though it appeared to be the foundation that crumbled, it was actually the faults falling away and it's only once the dust settles can we see the foundation is stronger than ever because it is built upon truth, the bullshit has turned to dust. Something drastic had to happen to wake us all up, otherwise we'd still be snoozing and operating within our connections from fear, going round and round in karmic cycles.

Many twins were beating around the bush in their connection so to speak but the tower moment made us say "enough is enough! I'm done with this bullshit!" At first it may have felt as though you were done with your twin flame, and that is fair enough, but for many the dust is settling and you can see the bigger picture. You're done with the bullshit within your connection dynamic. The security blanket of living in fantasies and "what ifs" and always living for the future is over. That fantasy version of the connection likely DID serve you for a time, but that time is ending. Many twins are now choosing to live in the present moment. This is a really good thing! What does this mean? You're no longer tying up your happiness in a union with your twin flame. Yes, it is perfectly fine to still want that, but you are no longer DEPENDENT upon that for your sense of happiness, meaning and love in your life. 

The Masculine's Experience

So, that tower moment... What lead up to it? I'm going to use the example of the divine masculine making a choice to either stay in a karmic situation or seemingly go backwards by running back to the "safety" of some kind of karmic situation. This could mean a karmic relationship, social circle, family situation, self-destructive habit etc. The tower moment occurred for many when the DM ran away and it left you feeling they had chosen someone or something else over you. For others, the tower happened because your twin flame disrespected you in some way that made you feel unloved. Whatever the tower represents for you, it would have triggered deep childhood wounds of rejection and abandonment. 

Well the first reason the tower moment happened was because there was some kind of false paradigm(s) subconsciously operating within your connection. Your higher selves and spirit would have orchestrated the tower to completely break through these paradigms based on fear, wounding and the separation illusion because they were causing you to hold on too tightly and get in your own way. A true union within and without could not happen in a false foundation. Desperately clinging to one another out of fear by looking outside of self for love and validation based on childhood wounds is not the vibration for true union. It MUST happen within. The tower moment happened to obliterate any bullshit that was blinding you and keeping you stuck looking outside of self. Your ego would have received a huge blow but it needed it!

The ego would have been inflated (in both twins) in certain ways, feeling an arrogant sense of being "untouchable" but this ego trip is not the REAL sense of peace, not a true firm foundation within. The ego trip is based on looking outside of self for validation. In the old paradigm your twin or your connection would have been validating the false ego foundation in certain ways ("He sees me as a perfect goddess! No-one can compare, certainly not the karmic!", or secretly believing you're more superior than the "bog standard" human who hasn't met their twin!) The ego had been running high on self-importance "I am the best, better than others" (separation illusion), which is the shadow side of an initial awakening and often these connections fuel it at first. But the tower moment kicked a leg out from underneath your stool and made you topple back down to humility (looking rather red faced). 

This ego death (through realisation of truth) forced you to find REAL self love within (because it felt like the love had been taken away from you on the outside, ego taken down a peg or two), to build up your own foundation through genuine self esteem. You had to learn to love yourself no matter how much you felt like your twin was rejecting you. No more looking to him or her to be there and fill up your ego to feel good about yourself. It's time to fill up that cup of love all by yourself, by finally DOING THE WORK. 

But the tower moment happened because for too long the twins were stubbornly holding onto the other's validation. It was keeping them stuck in the illusion of separation (that love is outside of self and we aren't lovable unless someone else "proves" to us we are). For some of you that have had no contact, you would have been holding on too tightly SEEKING that validation and feeling controlled by the situation of them NOT giving you it. But everyone was too busy looking outside of self for the love and approval. Many runner twins were looking outside of the connection for it. 

Another key reason why the tower moment happened was because the feminine (in most cases) was seeking that validation so much from the masculine twin that she was trying to force him to come closer and unite with her as the ultimate declaration of his approval. This is looking outside of self! The whole point is that we learn to look inwards and know our own worth, this is the only way we will be truly happy. The universe is waiting for us to realise this and therefore union with another cannot happen unless we really do reach it within!

Many feminine's (and masculines) have made the subconscious mistake to believe that the ultimate approval will come from a commitment from their twin. It's like they subconsciously feel worthless until the masculine chooses to come into union with them. But be honest with yourself, would it have even been right for you to come into union the way things were? Would you have really wanted that in that old dynamic? The masculine's knew they weren't being their best selves and so felt they had no right to have that union with you. (Many DF's were not being their best selves either if we're totally honest, even if it wasn't intentional). Why were the feminine's so sure they wanted union if basic needs weren't being met? Because we were living too much for the future and not looking at things as they are in the now.

We'd tied up our worth in the DM choosing us BIG TIME, but it's like we hadn't even stopped to ask ourselves if the DM deserved US! They do deserve us in theory because they are good enough as a person, but their actions may not have been good enough (I'll get more into this in a bit). But this tendency to base our worth on a man's decision to commit to us or not is definitely conditioning from society! To think we *must* be really unlovable if we never have a man want to commit to us! It sounds so cringe-worthy and we may want to resist this truth of our brainwashing "in our day and age", "independent woman" and all, but it's been so ingrained within us that we didn't even know it was there. As if our worth is determined by that! We haven't even realised that it's such a damaging belief to hold about ourselves and our worth. 

The tower had to happen because neither of you were ready for union. You *thought* you were because you were still blinded by the faulty foundation. So you pushed and pushed and energetically it just pushed your twin away. Again, union cannot happen based on the faulty foundation so if you try to force things you only repel it and you have to learn the hard way! 

So many masculine's ran. For some of you it may have been quite shocking. You may have believed you were "past" that stage, or some of you may have experienced your twin coming forward wanting deeper connection and then as you got your hopes up they bolted. The truth is, they DID want union and they do still want that, it's just that, just like you, they were not ready. 

They may have chosen to stay put in their karma or run back to a "comfortable" karmic situation to "hide out" in. "Oh I can't be with you right now because look how much bullshit I have to deal with" (that they choose to leap back into). But was it really such a clean cut choice? Did their (and your) higher self orchestrate these events to create the tower and create a blessing in disguise to get everything back in order? In many cases there really WAS karma that still needed to be cleared in those situations and like I said, there NEEDED to be some kind of slap around the face for us to wake up and see the bs foundation we'd been operating from, which was holding us back, in order to clear it (our own karma). 

The karmic situation that your DM appeared to choose offered them the possibility of remaining "unseen". If you had been trying to force a union before it was time then they would have been freaking out, not feeling ready. They've had many fears about "coming out" and being their true selves. Fears about expressing their spiritual beliefs, fears about sticking up and speaking up for themselves and in some cases the divine feminine, fears about being enough or having enough to provide, fears about expressing their raw emotions, fears of heartbreak, fears of losing control etc. I definitely went through many of these fears too as the divine feminine, but many of these fears happened a few years before meeting my twin. 

In the midst of their blind panic (when the DF was trying to force him to be ready and commit more deeply) he couldn't see clearly. The fear took over and he sought relief and safety from those intensifying fears (he was feeling DF's intensifying expectations). So he made decisions based on fear and clouded by fear. He didn't feel ready to change and be the real him so karmic situations and people appeared to be very appealing in those moments of panic. For those who "fell back" into old situations, it felt like a very familiar place to be. It felt very relieving for the ego fears - safe and known. The ego would have been telling him that this is the "solution" to feel better (get rid of the fears of being his true self). So he jumped back in and likely even felt a sort of "honeymoon period" about it all for a little while. "Ah, yes! This feels easy (safe and known) like an old slipper." (lol) There would have been that "happy high" (like when you've just finished a public presentation in front of hundreds of people or something else really nerve-wracking and you're elated that it's over and went okay but still shaking and flustered a little bit by the adrenaline).

But after a while, the fear wore off (because he'd "got to safety" tying himself up in karma again) and then he didn't feel the immediacy of being forced into union anymore or needing to take a leap of faith. So when that fear disappeared, clarity started to creep in again. The honeymoon with the karmic was wearing off, the "oh shit" sinking feeling of reality began to dawn on him. The "What have I done's" began circling in his mind. The adrenaline-filled bonding with the karmic died away and again he was left feeling the huge gulf between them. The feeling of being trapped living a lie became all too familiar again. "Oh, so this is why I left the karmic the first time around" or "Oh this is why I need to leave the karmic" had all come flooding back. "THIS time really ISN'T going to be any different with the karmic. There's no way I could turn this "easy" karmic situation (where I can hide) into anything close to resembling the love and connection I have with my twin flame." Their heart re-emerged (instead of head) and they thought "what the fuck have I got myself into?!" and "What have I done to my divine feminine?!" 

Suddenly the temporary relief from their fear did not seem worth the price they had to pay in the connection with the divine feminine, for this situation certainly woke her up (which I will get into a little later). This was definitely a time when the DM did not have temperance in the midst of fear. They allowed themselves to be controlled by the fear and then paid the dear price (which is actually a blessing in disguise because it woke both of them up BIG TIME). 

They thought they were saving themselves by running back to familiar territory but really it was the ego trying to save itself from crumbling by attempting to prevent the soul from shining through. But the irony of it is that in it's attempt to preserve itself by jumping back into karmic cycles, the ego actually catalysed it's own destruction so profound awakening and change could come in. The DMs' were trying to escape their fear but ended up jumping in the deep end of even bigger fears - that the feminine would leave them because of their fear fuelled actions! They thought they were avoiding facing their shadow, but it drew them so much deeper into it, more so than ever before. 

The Feminine's Experience

When the masculine made the decision to jump back into or remain in karmic cycles the feminine got so pissed. It was likely due to the manner in which the DM's ran that triggered her so deeply. This time it felt different and for significant reason. I am not an astrologer, but I know that many twins experienced this tower moment around a very similar time of the eclipse season (but this still applies even if your tower moment happened at another time. Take what resonates). The second half of this year has certainly been a time of wrapping up old karmic cycles to make way for new significant shifts. We've all heard about "The Event" and how we are shifting like never before into New Earth. So when it appeared that the masculine was "going backwards" the divine feminine's felt "Hell no! I CANNOT go backwards!" It's because we've been feeling the significant shift FORWARDS for so long. The tower moment was so shocking because it "appeared" to go against the deep inner knowing that everything is significantly shifting forwards with greater momentum. Well, in truth, it only "appeared" that the masculine and your connection were going backwards, but in reality it was the very catalyst needed to propel you both forward SIGNIFICANTLY, pushing the DF to shift first the the DM followed suit. 

The DF's said "enough is enough". Our souls are pushing us forward (both DM and Df as we are One) and so it felt wrong to go "backwards". The thought of continuing a the karmic loop for another round was beyond exhausting. The combination of the DM pissing us off big time and the intense pull to keep moving forward was the exact trigger the DF needed to finally decide to LET GO and push forward with or without him. She realised just how much she had been holding herself back and tethering her worth to the DM's decisions. She saw how she'd subconsciously been giving her power away in this way. She realised that she was no longer willing to feel stuck and stagnant just because the masculine had decided to (seemingly) go backwards. She wasn't going to pin her hopes and happiness on the future anymore because the DM always seemed to be putting that off. All that was certain was the now, the future not so certain. 

The divine feminine realised that if she continued to wait for him to come around before she could feel happy then she would likely feel frustrated and unhappy for a long time after his decision to run the other way. Enough was enough. She didn't need him THAT much (especially if he seemed to so easily play with fire in your connection. It made you realise how much he was taking you for granted). Meanwhile, many of the DM's had NO IDEA that the DF would feel this way - they thought (due to DF's previous decisions over time to hold on and sweep things under the rug) that we the DF's would continue to be patient and understanding and keep waiting around for them. Well, not this time. That was a blow to their ego! The tower shocked them just as much as it shocked us! 

So the DF learned the meaning of healthy boundaries! She actually put them into practice. She learned that her time was precious and she did not take kindly to the masculine fooling around with her time. She realised that she herself had made the choice (out of her own fear) to put herself in that position of waiting and saw how she had unknowingly contributed to that stagnation with the DM too. Oh what a fool she felt about herself! If you're struggling to put up healthy boundaries because you fear losing your twin flame then my in depth video "How To Create Healthy Boundaries" can really help you with this step by step. 

For a while (and some of you may still be going through this) the DF's have gone into hermit mode and are afraid to be open and vulnerable with their divine masculine. We've been so open and nurturing in the past and then felt totally taken for granted. Now I am not saying the DM's are bad people, because I mentioned that BOTH twins had their ego's stroked in this connection, but for a long time we thought we were helping the DM to feel more confident about himself and self-loving (and in some ways we were helping them with that), but for a lot of it we were simply feeding their ego and it gave them an excuse to not do the work to create the love within themselves. It fed their ego because it appeared to them that we were worshipping them and we gave them control over us even though they may not have put in half as much effort into the connection that we were. When we don't love ourselves, we literally cannot attract truly loving and healthy situations. The dynamic was running from the fear and illusion based foundation and so that's how it was manifesting. 

Many of the DF's are now intuitively feeling the need to pull back from the DM. We've been taken down a peg or two of our own and come to many realisations of the illusions we'd built a faulty foundation upon. The way we got our ego stroked was by feeling we were the "awakened one", the "selfless", angelic mother archetype. But how much was that really being selfless and nurturing, when we were constantly looking to get something back in return in the name of approval? Be honest. Did you get an ego trip by feeling like the one in control (the mother type figure) to counteract feeling out of control by seeing yourself as the "enlightened one" simply waiting for the masculine to wake up? Did you have a condescending attitude towards your masculine, even if you didn't say it aloud? Because this is why they would have been trying to resist and stay in control - no one wants to be treated like a baby where "mother knows best". "Then why do they act like babies?" I hear some of you saying. Because maybe no one ever believed in them and gave them the time and space (without trying to cajole them or coax them, or mother them, or manipulate them) in order for them to do their own work, to find themselves, to love themselves. Maybe they saw you were wanting to play Mummy and baby, so in order to keep you in their life they played their part. If you were actively taking on that role over and over, it was giving the clear message that you wanted that role, otherwise you wouldn't have played it. But you didn't want that role, but you kept playing it out from a place of fear regardless. I'm not trying to blame anyone, I'm talking from my own experience and what I see so many times in the twin flame community. 

How many of you had this subconscious idea that you would play Mummy for now and when you got into union THEN you would be more of the receptive lover type? But you felt that you had to be Mummy to get to that point in the first place. Maybe you expected your twin to know that somehow? That you wanted things a certain way, to be equal, to feel like lovers and not mother / baby (which they need too) but you were coming at it from completely the wrong dynamic (Mummy), to catch that fish in the first place. You can't have one thing if you're coming at it from a completely different vibration. be the receptive lover type right now, give up being mummy. And by that I mean, FEEL how you want to feel. If you were lovers, how would you act and be. What would you do differently from the mummy role?

We Subconsciously Wanted Them to Become Dependent So They Would Never Leave Us

When we try to give our DM's all the love we think they need, it often has the effect of making them dependent on us. It keeps them looking for love and approval outside of themselves (another reason why we try to become "Mummy" because we fear losing them), and so they never truly have the space or time to be alone to find the love within. They never have the confidence to be an equal in the connection.

When we over-give to the point of keeping them dependent because we think we are being loving, we are actually HOLDING THEM BACK from loving themselves (and holding ourselves back from doing the same). We try to shield him from all pain, soften the blow, fight his battles for him, or tell him (subconsciously) that he doesn't have to lift a finger so then he has NO EXPERIENCE and no need of doing things for himself, finding self love, standing up for himself, taking action towards his goals, sticking to his promises etc and then we end up wondering why he seems to be making no or very little progress or effort. We've created a comfort zone for him and it's not meeting his needs (or our own). When we take on the role of doing everything ourselves we end up with just that - doing everything ourselves. It's not a recipe for making the masculine feel good about himself (or us good about ourselves in truth either). It seems crazy that we do this because we don't even consciously know where it's coming from! It just seems to "happen" and we wind up in the same pattern again and again. But it's all part of the ancestral patterns passed down to us through our DNA. These are the unhealthy patterns we are hear to break. 

We may be left wondering why the masculine is stagnating in old karma and it's because we have been too! Fear based, codependent illusions, habits of taking control, subconsciously sabotaging intimacy too because we secretly have feared we are not good enough either (hence the itching urge to keep chasing and proving ourselves). We've made it all too easy - "You sit back, let me do all the hard work, let me sweep that bs under the carpet" and we label it "unconditional love". Well, where's the self-love in that? And honestly (and I know you didn't consciously mean to do this), where is the love in trying to keep someone codependent on you? In keeping them wrapped up in cotton wool so they never feel sure of themselves and their own capabilities that they can ever handle things themselves. I think many DM's attracted the DF in this karmic pattern because they were treated this way by their own mother. Does it appear that you truly believed in them? Do you think that makes them feel good enough, man enough?

If we're acting like "Mummy", they are gunna feel like "baby". Then we have the gall to get pissed at them. Do you wanna feel like Mummy forever? If not, then step back. Stop being Mummy. If you refuse to stop, you will always remain as Mummy. Doesn't it feel like a huge sigh of relief to drop all that? To drop the roles we've been conditioned to feel the need to become, to feel like a worthy person. We're here to crumble those outdated paradigms that have been holding us back. It's happening now for many twin flames.

The DF's can now see their own contribution to the tower moment CLEARLY. They know they must step back and be "cruel to be kind" to the masculine. It's the most loving thing to do. To allow them to grow on their own. There's no way a healthy union was going to happen in that old codependent dynamic. 

Video Lesson

Are you afraid to create healthy boundaries in case it causes you twin flame to disappear from your life? Are you constantly walking on eggshells and feeling mistreated or taken for granted? Do you feel you are the only one putting in all the work? These are signs that you need to implement healthy boundaries.

What if I told you that implementing healthy boundaries would actually draw your twin flame closer to you (not by playing games but by simply honouring your own needs and loving yourself)... 

READ MORE

​Why the Twin Flame Community Means Well But Can Sometimes Lead Us Astray

Sometimes this twin flame community can unintentionally send people in the wrong direction. There's been so much talk of "unconditional love", "holding space", "practising forgiveness", "showing compassion" etc etc and there's nothing wrong with any of these things at all, AS LONG as they are done in a balanced way. Although well intended, these message often give the impression of something totally different from their intended meaning. And that faulty message that most people hear is to become some perfect, selfless martyr. So we start putting our needs on a back burner and focus more on becoming what we think our twin needs or wants, or how much we can "sacrifice" ourselves to become worthy of God's approval for the union.

We NEED to love ourselves and LISTEN to what our intuition is telling us about our own needs. How many times have you swept something your twin flame has done under the carpet without speaking up or putting up a healthy boundary? I bet every time you did that you had this horrible sinking feeling inside you which was your soul crying out for you to love yourself and not allow yourself to be disrespected. You would have told yourself, "Oh this little thing doesn't matter. My twin's just doing that because he's lacking confidence." Maybe that's true, but it's still no reason to ignore your soul's pain every time you disrespect yourself by going against what feels right and instead holding onto twin no matter what from a place fear.  

Now I'm not trying to make you feel bad about being a sensitive person and wanting to help your twin, because of course this isn't ALL about ego gratification, there is genuine love lurking beneath all the inner child wounding and of course many really do want the best for their twin and really did do their best to try and help. For example, many of us are so sensitive that we have always known our twin flame is good enough AS A PERSON, we just saw their actions weren't good enough because they didn't believe in themselves. We tried to help them believe in themselves, but we can't be the ones to do that for them.

We made the mistake of turning a blind eye to too many things because we were holding onto knowing they are good enough as a person, we saw who they truly are beneath their fears. But again, that does not necessarily mean their actions (or lack of action) was good enough. It's all about the unconditional love vs conditional love confusion. Our soul has unconditional love for our twin flame's soul, but on the Earth realm there has to be conditions (healthy boundaries) for there to be harmony in any 3D way. The trouble arose when we tried to love them unconditionally (no healthy boundaries) in the 3D. Until or unless everyone is totally enlightened on this Earth plane, we cannot go around with no conditions. We'd just be inviting mistreatment. Some will argue "But we are here to become enlightened and bring the 5D and beyond down to the Earth and love unconditionally." Yes, but right now we are not enlightened, so until we are, we must love ourselves through healthy boundaries on this Earth plane. 

When you turn a blind eye over and over again, you can see why the DM thought you would just do the same this time around too. But no, that's not an excuse for the masculine to treat the feminine poorly in any way. 

Another issue I have come to realise is this concept that the twin flame connection does not follow the old paradigm relationship rules. Again this is true in many ways, BUT we must be realistic and balanced. We are soul AND human. Some of those old relationship "rules" DO still apply. But when we're told they don't apply, that we must practice unconditional love and be our true authentic selves with our twins, it's caused many divine feminine's to misinterpret the meaning of these "rules". Like I mentioned earlier, unconditional love does not mean ignoring your own needs. There's this illusion that the feminine is somehow being "selfish" or in "ego" if she places healthy boundaries in the connection. "It must be unconditional or you are acting from a low vibration". But I'm sorry, many of us have learned the hard way that if we don't place healthy boundaries (which ARE conditions) then as we know, it causes others to take advantage and we start ignoring our own needs. 

Another misinterpretation comes when we are told to be our authentic selves. The trouble is, many of us don't know our true authentic selves to begin with. As the feminine we feel this urge to chase, to give and give and give, to become a martyr. We *think* this is the real us, the authentic feminine inside. But that's the wounded inner child chasing outside validation. Yes, we do have natural nurturing qualities, but again, if it's out of balance due to fear of the separation illusion then it only leads to us totally smother our twin and burn ourselves out in the process. THAT'S the EGO identity, not the real authentic self. It's the ego that feels such a strong urge to chase and chase to finally "win the prize" (validation) that it never won before. But we think that's the real us. So we think that in "being the authentic me" we have permission to run free and chase more than ever before. The ego loves that! We let it loose in the name of "authenticity". Then everything blows up in our face and we're left wondering what happened. "But I did everything right! I was being authentic, and unconditionally loving, I gave and gave, I became a martyr to be seen as worthy enough by God for this union (validation), I tried so hard to prove myself to my twin but I was still "rejected"." You weren't being what you thought you were being, you weren't being the real you. The illusions were still in operation. 

Also, we think that because this is such a divine connection then we can get away with just being a bit lazy sometimes. Yes the DF's can become lazy too in some ways. We think, "My twin will always love me" so we may slack off when it comes to REALLY doing the inner work, to really take the time to see what both our needs are (not just what we *think* they are to keep us in the "I know best" mummy frame of mind). If we genuinely believe we are the "more powerful" twin then we can wait around and stagnate within ourselves. When we wait and no longer shift, then the masculine often heads off in the other direction because their soul cannot stand the stagnation either. That's what makes us shift too (hello tower moment!) 

The Tower Moment Had to Happen

So, if you are here reading this and it's deeply resonating with you, can you now see why this tower moment HAD to happen? To wake you up and shake up the dynamic totally, to cause you to take space and allow the DM (and yourself) to grow without holding on too tightly to each other. The sad truth is that many twins don't see this bigger picture and they keep going round and round in the same circles for such a long time, feeling rejected, pissed off, operating from the wounded ego, being a martyr, feeling controlled by what their twin is or isn't doing - the list goes on...

For many, this old dynamic is over. There's no going back to relating to each other in the dysfunctional ways. If the masculine can't keep up, then we're okay with that, we're no longer allowing that to mean we are unworthy. We know that's simply not true. We're just surrendering now and focusing on our happiness in the present moment. 

Some of you are going through an intuition vs. ego battle amongst all of this. The tower has triggered the separation illusion within you all the more. This is to bring it up to the surface to be cleared. Before the tower some of you may have felt like a team, like a "we" but after the tower it challenged your point of view and now you're left feeling like it's a "me" vs. "you". This will bring up many facets to sift through about the separation illusion and unconditional vs. conditional love. Right now some of you may see optimistic messages from the twin flame community and feel sickened by it, saying to yourself "Stop being such a fucking Pollyanna!" Lol. But this will all come back into balance again as the ego is worked through, the key word being BALANCE. The difference from now on is you will have a BALANCED understanding of this twin flame dynamic. No more holding onto castles in the sky without a grounded foundation. Too many of us have been ungrounded in the 5D and it was a form of escapism. We've been brought back down to reality which is a mixture of both 5D and 3D, intuition AND logic, masculine and feminine, love and healthy boundaries etc. This is such an important step!

What the Feminine's Need to Do

From now on we REALLY need to be authentic. That means being totally honest with yourself about what FEELS RIGHT FOR YOU. Don't bullshit yourself and put up with anything that doesn't feel right. This doesn't mean turning into an absolute arsehole diva type where you're asking your twin to kneel down and kiss your feet, but you need to be brave and politely put up healthy boundaries if you need to. You're not helping yourself or your twin flame if you're too scared to be true to your own needs. When you do follow your own needs, it is catering to your twin's REAL needs too, even if your twin kicks up a fuss because there's no more "Mummy" for him to hide behind. 

Be realistic! That's vitally important! Don't have outrageous expectations where you get mad at your twin for things he literally cannot give you (the things you need to give to yourself). Again, it's always a fine line and you have to be super honest with yourself and take the time to keep checking in with your intuition to know how to navigate forward in your own connection at any give time. It will get easier with practice. 

Something else that is absolutely essential... You need to overcome the fear of losing your twin flame. This fear is exactly what keeps you stuck in codependency and putting up with some things you shouldn't. At first you WILL fear that your twin won't be able to keep up with you and will fall away if you let go and stop walking on eggshells. But it's a risk you must take. Even if your twin can't keep up at least you are setting yourself free to be the real you, to live in the present moment and love yourself like never before. If you refuse to surrender and instead keep holding on, you will only keep going in circles and feeling insecure because you're basing your sense of happiness, security and love outside of yourself. You will never truly feel any of these things if you don't let go and focus now upon giving those things to yourself. Only when you are truly in that vibration of self-union can you be ready to attract that back to yourself. But then you won't NEED that on the outside, it will be a bonus if it happens. That's where you need to get to. If you're struggling to get to this vital point of true surrender then my meditation activation "Fearless Faith: I Am Safe to Trust" will really help guide you through this process.

This Connection is Setting You Free

Your twin flame connection is teaching you how to be the authentic you which only knows the reality of Oneness, or unity consciousness. It's liberating you from the separation illusion and the fears associated with that illusion. The way this tower moment works is that it's got so many of you so pissed off that you are no longer willing to be unrealistically courteous. Now I don't mean we should become brash and project bitterness and ugliness towards our twin. But what I mean is, we are no longer willing to simply hold our tongue when really we need to speak up. We're no longer repressing ourselves to hold up our DM.

Some of you may feel the union might never happen now and you've become okay with that and so the fear of loss has dissolved for the most part. That means you are naturally more fearless in being your true self and honouring your own needs as well as your twin flames because there's "nothing to lose". And some of you are simply feeling "I don't want this connection if it stays stuck in the old dynamic anyway so fuck it, I'm just gunna be true to myself." This is exactly what we need! This is being the REAL AUTHENTIC YOU! (Again, it's not about being harsh and projecting wounds and resentment onto your twin!) It's going to align you with what's right for you, whether that's your twin or something else.  
​

Powerful Self Union Activation 

How do you reach union with your twin flame..? By reaching union with yourself. What does this mean? Union with self is when we can see beyond our conditioning, illusions and ego false self to align with the truth of our divine soul consciousness - to know we are pure, innocent, lovable and perfectly divine even with our human imperfections. Union with self is the state of embracing both our divinity and our humanness and merging those into One, embracing all aspects of ourselves in Love...

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​What is the divine masculine learning from this?

The divine masculines are learning so much from this shift too. Upon experiencing the shock of the feminine finally erecting healthy boundaries, saying "no" and taking distance, the masculine's finally have the time and space to see things clearly. They are really awakening. The universe needed us to let go in this way for the masculine to have the clarity and do the inner work. Before we were mollycoddling them too much and getting in both their and our own way. 

Here's a breakdown of what they are learning:
    
That this connection IS real

When you were sending them so much love they were happy to bask in it and felt pretty good. They didn't feel the urge to do the inner work as much as they do now because you were working so hard to "bridge the gap" and do everything for them. You are one, so when one over-gives in an imbalanced way, the other will be imbalanced in the opposite way. It's an energetic dynamic, it's not personal. You weren't giving them enough time and space to go inwards, to "problem solve" which is exactly when they awaken and really feel their intuition, the truth. Before you may have been trying to give them all the answers, but they must discover them for themselves and that's what they're doing now.

That following fear only leads to more pain and tower moments

When they ran away from you because of their intense fears they weren't thinking straight and made poor decisions. They have been afraid to face their fears of going inwards and facing their inner demons for so long. But through this tower and subsequent shift they are now understanding that operating from fear and avoiding their awakening is actually the very thing that causes them more pain and strife. They had to learn it the hard way in order to release their resistance. 

That fear blinds you to the truth

They see now that their fear was clouding their judgement. They realise that from now on they must try to calm themselves and make important decisions from that place of calmness, from their heart. When they ran back to karmic cycles because of their fear they see now that it was only the sense of getting rid of the fear that was leading those decisions. For many of them they jumped from the frying pan into the fire. They are seeing that the only way to be rid of fear is to face it head on.  

That their heart was right all along

Many of them doubted their intuition for a long time, but when they realised what they had once it was gone they saw clearly exactly what they DID have. They see it more clearly than ever. They know it was just their fears causing them to doubt their heart. 
 
That making rash decisions and playing with fire leads to consequences

Like I mentioned before, many masculines thought the df would just stick around no matter what. They played with fire in your connection because they thought they could. They didn't think there would be any real consequences to their actions. Now they are realising that they shouldn't assume anything, that they can't just slack off and do the wrong thing without there being consequences. 
 
That the feminine isn't going to keep kissing their arse no matter what

He's seeing how she's now loving herself. He's very proud of her but it's also daunting for him to know that he now has to actually do the right thing if he wants to stay on board in this connection. This is exactly what they need though to inspire them to be their best selves. I think for many of them this new dynamic secretly excites them, it scares the hell out of them, but in a good way because it inspires them to be their best selves. 

That they were taking the feminine for granted and need to appreciate the blessing that they have

Many of them feel like a fool after what's happened. They now realise what they had but were taking for granted. They feel bad for not honouring the feminine in the way they know she deserves. This is helping them to do things the right way though. It's helping them to not take the feminine for granted ever again.  

​These are just some of the things they are learning. I will go into more in future energy reports. 

It Will Feel Messy for a While

A LOT has changed in your dynamic. A lot has been triggered and a lot has come into your awareness for the better. You will likely flit between ego and soul knowing for a while. You may not know exactly how to relate to each other in this new dynamic just yet. That's okay. Keep following your intuition. The shifts are still happening. What has crumbled is now being rebuilt upon, the foundation grounded in truth. Go with the flow. Do what feels right for you. You're already come so far.

Love to you always on your continued journey,

​Karen x

Video: How to Create Healthy Boundaries that Speed Up Union (34 Minutes)

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Are you afraid to create healthy boundaries in case it causes you twin flame to disappear from your life? Are you constantly walking on eggshells and feeling mistreated or taken for granted? Do you find yourself getting angry with your twin a lot? Are you secretly angry with yourself because you feel you are disrespecting yourself? Do you feel you are the only one putting in all the work? Do you feel humiliated when you open up to your twin and they completely ghost you or treat you badly?

These are all signs that you need to implement healthy boundaries. You may be afraid that it will mean your twin will disappear out of your life, but do you really want someone there just because you're the one holding on so tightly? What about your emotional needs? This journey is all about loving yourself after all.

What if I told you that implementing healthy boundaries would actually draw your twin flame closer to you (not by playing games but by simply honouring your own needs and loving yourself). What if I told you that this is the key to stop going in circles and actually have positive action towards union once and for all? Boundaries force the other twin to face their fears and actually do the inner work. That is what everyone truly wants. It can be a scary process, but it's the only thing that stops you going in circles and delaying your highest good, If it means the person exits your life for good then it's not your twin anyway and it makes room for your real twin to come into your life.

34 minutes

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