What's your biggest fear about your twin flame connection? Is it that your twin flame will abandon you? Are you afraid that your twin flame will leave you all alone and your life will be over? Does the idea of union never happening make your future look bleak?
When twins need the union too much it's because they are looking outside of themselves for love, happiness, validation and fulfilment. It's causing you to stay stuck in an illusion that you are powerless to be happy and have peace unless someone else gives it to you. It's the illusion of being separate from the wholeness that you truly are within. Union really is about finding it within, seeing through the illusion and knowing you can have all those emotional needs met right now as long as you shift your mindset.
We all carry around wounds from our childhood of rejection and abandonment. We feel so much pain because we buy into the illusion that it's personal. We believe as a child that it means we are unlovable and unworthy if our parents struggled to show us love. We didn't realise that they were struggling to show their love because they were carrying the very same wounds because THEY never felt fully loved and likely they didn't even realise it.
When we believe it's all personal, when it really isn't, we subconsciously set off on a mission from a very young age to earn that love and approval from others. If someone judges us, looks at us funny, or is in a bad mood (that's nothing to do with us) we take it personally, we get paranoid that it's because we aren't good enough, aren't lovable enough, we've done something wrong etc. The subconscious soaks up millions of different encounters just like this and stores them as "evidence" of our unworthiness. In most cases, other's reactions were likely nothing to do with us at all, and they were simply in a bad mood that day or we totally misinterpreted that "funny look". We couldn't see that everyone is living through the same wounds, has the same insecurities and paranoia.
Since having a child of my own I have a better understanding that my mother's frustrated reactions towards me and my brother when we were little didn't mean she didn't love us. With my own 5 year old son at times it's hard to not get frustrated when I have to repeat myself ten times just for him to get ready for school or put on his pyjamas at bedtime. It's no fun having to threaten to throw away a lollipop every time he doesn't do what he's told or hear your voice changing from nice mummy, into frustrated mummy, into angry mummy. From his eyes these kinds of instances of frustration and sighs from my end probably do resonate with him on some level to mean I don't love him in those moments but that's not the case at all. When I was young I remember my mum always seemed cross with us. At that age I didn't understand that frustration from mummy doesn't mean that she doesn't love me. But we store all these instances in our subconscious as proof that we are unlovable.
So we go through life with this belief that we are unworthy and we subconsciously try to mold ourselves to be what we think others want us to be or expect from us. We try to keep them happy so they're happy with us. We can feel like we're being a "bad" person simply for being ourselves and no longer giving a fuck what other's think - we can feel as though we are being a complete rebel, rather than simply being true to ourselves. We could be a really considerate person and still feel like a rebel just for saying no when we need to. It triggers a wound where we remember the pain of being criticised by mummy or daddy for upsetting them.
So how does this all relate to twin flame connections? Well, many twins still have this wound of rejection operating when they first meet their twin flame and many even still have the wound long into the connection. Because the connection is so deep and profound with our twin, then often we yearn for their approval very deeply. This causes us to start wearing masks or begin molding ourselves to be what we think the other person wants or expects from us. We ask ourselves, "How can I be their dream girl / guy? What do I need to do?" Then we start taking actions to become those things to them. But most often this is a projection from the childhood wound we carry from our relationship with our parents. It's really about our inner child seeking the love we didn't receive from mum and dad now from our twin. We try to be the perfect person that we think our parents would approve of and be that for our twin.
The trouble is, when we do this we've lost our authenticity or are downright rejecting parts of our true nature to become something we're not. We don't feel good enough as we are so we try so hard to become the irresistible dream for our twin. We are seeking to be loved by them in all the ways our parents couldn't show us that love. Our inner child is still trying to heal that wound. But it's still the subconscious illusion that we aren't good enough or lovable enough unless someone else outside of ourselves shows us that we are. It's searching for a band aid but true healing comes from within.
As long as we are in the separation consciousness ("I am separate from love (unlovable) unless someone outside of me shows me I am worthy") then we never reach INNER union. This is what our souls are here to experience - seeing beyond the illusion of "unworthiness" or "unlovableness" to reach the realisation that "I am lovable simply because I exist". We are not separate from God, we are all One, all equal parts in harmony. To very loosely quote an episode of Kung Fu Panda (I love them!!) a master of "musical kung fu" said something like, "Every music note is equally as important as the others. If one note is off then it ruins the whole melody. All must work in harmony and harmony comes when they know they are all equally as important as the others". Basically, there's no superiority or inferiority. So that means no one has authority over you to tell you if you are worthy or not, just like you have no authority to judge another as being worthy or unworthy as a person.
But often we place our twin on a pedestal and totally base our sense of self worth on their reactions towards us. We mistakenly give them that authority over us and often it leads us to start bending over backwards becoming some sort of martyr as the inner child works very hard to seek intense approval. When we put another on a pedestal they will often gladly be up on that pedestal (other's treat us how we train them to treat us) and we start putting up with things from them that we shouldn't. They see how hard you are working to keep them by your side so they start taking you for granted. To be fair, that's human nature. If you would like help in implementing healthy boundaries that really shift you back into self-love then I have created a video here all about how to do it the right way.
Both twin flames can really put the other on a pedestal and mold themselves to be what they think the other wants. But for today in this energy update I am going to talk about how the divine feminine's do this and how we are shifting out of this old karmic cycle and embracing our power. Embracing our power doesn't mean being brash or projecting our ego side onto our twin in any way. Embracing our power is simply being our true selves, knowing we are totally worthy and lovable simply as we are in the present moment and choosing to ditch fear and seeking approval outside of ourselves, especially from our twin flame. Embracing our power is all about loving ourselves and creating that love, wholeness and peace inside of ourselves no matter what's going on on the outside. Many of them didn't ask us to put them on a pedestal, we simply put them in that role right from the start.
So in what ways does the divine feminine subconsciously diminish her feminine power to try and seek approval and love from her twin flame? She starts to dim her light, dim her truth etc because she feels the divine masculine can't keep up or isn't strong enough to "handle" her in her truth. She's afraid the masculine will be intimidated by her feminine strength and so she becomes docile and overly complying. She becomes the "nice girl" that mummy and daddy would be so proud of. She starts hiding her goddess energy and becomes a doormat instead. She puts her happiness, her self-worth and her future into his hands (again, he didn't ask for this, he's freaked out by this because you've set him up for failure! He literally cannot give to you or heal you in the ways you are seeking that only YOU can heal and give to yourself). She gives her power to him, she puts her life in his hands (as if he didn't have enough on his own plate to work through). She becomes dependent upon him and it becomes a heavy weight for him to shoulder. (And I'm not judging, we've been conditioned by the old paradigms to be like this!)
At the same time she takes it upon herself to be his personal therapist, his guardian angel and many of us (if we are totally honest with ourselves) got a major ego boost from feeling so angelic and pure, "enlightened" and "selfless", even though in the back of our mind is our goal to get it all back in return - the APPROVAL, the LOVE we felt we've been denied our whole lives. Again, I'm NOT judging. It's our inner child crying out in pain for love. This wound is what distorts our behaviour to try and manipulate the situation and our twin into giving us what we want. Most of us don't do this in a devious way, but in a subconscious way, where the inner child becomes a chameleon changing itself to fit in with what we think our twin wants so they give us what we want in return.
But the whole point of this journey is to love your own inner child, reach that union within yourself. Until you do that, there will always be a barrier between you and love because you simply can't see you already have access to it within your own heart. These aren't just words. Think about it!
If you wear masks and have no backbone, your twin flame will be doing the same. They may be wearing a mask to try and impress you or others and have no backbone in their karmic situations. It all comes down to this illusion that other's can or have to determine our worth for us. It's all about recognising that it's just a karmic cycle that we are here to transcend. Only YOU can decide your worth. Other's can simply mirror back to you your own beliefs about yourself.
If you aren't loving yourself, your twin won't love himself and he will also be wishy washy about you because you're dimming your truth, weakening the magnetic attraction. The masculine's aren't stupid. They can see straight through your "perfect angel" mask, they can see that you're being overly accommodating, putting yourself and your life on hold, putting up with nonsense etc because you don't trust they're strong enough to handle the real you, the beautiful mix of light and shadow, strength and vulnerability. All your twin has ever wanted and needed is for you to be yourself, to know you are worthy just the way you are. Isn't that what you've always wanted from them too? You're mirrors. He will distrust you as long as you are wearing this mask.
They CAN handle you in your truth. You might be laughing to yourself and saying "No they can't", but what was the version of yourself that you were presenting to your twin flame? Was it REALLY the real you? Or was it the conditioned you, the fearful you, the masked you, the wounded inner child you? Was it the version of yourself that was bending over backwards or acting brashly because certain expectations weren't be met (no band aid was offered from your twin)? Did you really know the real you back then?
Your twin flame can handle the real you. What they cannot handle (and what energetically repels you both) is the condition illusion of "you" or any false representation you think would make you more worthy but never does because your true worth lies within the your true you. The true you is both light and shadow, it's balanced, it's 3D and 5D. The true you knows your worth so you don't have to prove yourself and seek it outside of yourself. The true you doesn't need to be standoffish in the false sense of "power".
If you're not being your true self and are operating instead from a place of fear, your twin will be doing the same. If you fear rejection big time, your twin will fear rejection big time too. If you're stuck in the illusion, your twin will be blinded to the truth also. The cycle will continue for as long as you cannot see beyond it.
Often a Tower Moment Causes the Feminine to Take Back Her Power
Many feminine's experienced a tower moment that really shook them to the core. All of these subconscious masks we had been wearing have been revealed to us. These false masks may have also included us molding ourselves to be what we thought the universe wanted us to become to be worthy of union. We can now see how we were simply trying too hard to become some kind of perfect ideal we had envisioned that we "needed to be" in order to align with union. We couldn't see that we weren't really being true to ourselves in many ways.
The masculine's were stagnating because the feminine's were stagnating. Their higher self was waiting for us to wake up and realise our own worth and treat ourselves accordingly. This has been a huge shift in consciousness. We have woken up to one of the biggest illusions of separation and transcended it.
Many of you have now simply stopped wearing the masks, stopped over-giving, stopped burning yourself out, stopped hiding your truth, stopped babying the masculine, stopped having condescending opinions of him / her, stopped fearing the loss of him. You're no longer worried that being the true you may cause you to lose him (definitely the masculine had this fear too!!) because you now realise you wouldn't want your twin if it meant you had to constantly bend over backwards or wear masks or live in fear all the time just to keep them there. If they really are your twin then your shift causes them to shift. As you release fear, so do they. As you see the truth, so do they - everything becomes clear and flows much more smoothly.
Many of you had a very sobering moment during that tower obliteration. Any ego arrogance, superiority complex, or subconscious pattern of putting yourself or the other on a pedestal has crumbled. When you step into your truth you become humble, more down to earth (many are feeling turned off by some of the twin flame theory mumbo jumbo out there trying to turn you into that "perfect saint") and you're no longer attracted to the ego's desire for power (telling yourself that you ARE that saint), you're just okay with being you, naturally powerful in your authentic, humble truth, embracing both your soul purity and your imperfect humanness.
For some of you the tower moment involved your twin flame's karmic partner. Personally in my own situation, I'm thankful for it. If this had never happened then I would never have transformed monumentally as I have done. I would still be the "twin flame chaser", I would still have the tendency to chase others in my life in general, I would still be seeking love and approval outside of myself, I would still be going round and round and round in circles like I had been for YEARS. My twin and the karmic have helped me massively, so for that I am grateful. I know it's woken my twin up to MANY things also these past few months. Karmics aren't your enemy , they're your ally. I'm sure the karmic's learned many things from this experience too.
We Must Face Our Biggest Fears
We must face our biggest fear of loss and become okay with the idea of a physical union never happening because it's this very fear of rejection that keeps us holding on so tight, stuck in illusion and karmic cycle. This cycle of imagined separation (which manifests in the physical) will go on for as long as you refuse to release your grip and heal yourself. If you feel you've been rejected by your twin IT'S NOT PERSONAL. It's all about energy - whatever vibe you're in you attract. If we remain in a place where being "abandoned" by our twin is our biggest fear then it will remain our biggest block to inner peace, to living from authenticity and ultimately union within and with our twin.
I know it's been said many times before but it really is true that if you are doing things just to try and be in physical union with your twin flame, then this illusion of loss and separation is still operating within your psyche. You're still subconsciously holding onto the idea that happiness and love comes from outside of yourself. When you're truly okay with the idea of never "getting together" and you still feel at peace within, then you will be operating from authenticity, not fear, you will release the exhausting tendency to mold yourself or try and manipulate outcomes. You simply allow yourself and the connection to just "be". And if any kind of union with your twin is destined for you then this is the best place to be to have any kind of shot at it. But again, you must reach this state of being naturally, you cannot fake it to try and trick the universe into giving you what your ego wants. Your true self wants peace first and foremost, so that means giving up the desperate need to have anything or anyone outside of yourself to make you happy - that blocks your inner peace.
Many of the feminine's are now like "que sera sera whatever will be will be". They're surrendering. Their allowing. They're just "being". And it feels GOOD.
If you would like further assistance on how to face the fear of union never happening so the fear is no longer blocking you or keeping you locked in a karmic cycle then my powerful meditation "Fearless Faith: I Am Safe To Trust" can really help you.
Fearless Faith: I AM Safe to Trust - Powerful Block Removal Activation MP3
One of our biggest fears surrounding our twin flame connection is often the idea that union will never happen. This fear stirs up all sorts of painful emotions - abandonment, rejection, terror, heartbreak - no fun at all! To make matters worse, our fears make us act in all sorts of desperate ways that actually push away our twin flame - paranoia, jealousy, clingyness, bitterness etc. Our inner child is crying out to be loved in all the ways we felt abandoned and rejected in childhood.
When we yearn so badly for outer validation from our twin to the point of feeling desperate, energetically this repels union because we mistakenly believe we NEED union in order to feel happy, whole, loved etc, but our soul is trying to teach us to first align with union within - taking responsibility for our own emotional wellbeing.
In this meditation I take you to the heart of your fears. Instead of avoiding the fears by looking outside of yourself to your twin for validation and thus continuing to block the union, we will explore integrating these fears. Through allowing ourselves to get more comfortable with the possibility of life without union, with being happy and fulfilled regardless of what happens with our twin flame, we release the fears and allow the flow of our highest good to come into our lives. This opens us up to receiving union with our twin, if that is for our highest good. If not, then we have created a space to become fulfilled and happy within ourselves and our lives regardless, so it's a win-win situation!
Through releasing the fears and knowing you will be okay, more than okay, if union didn't happen, you reach inner union. You know that you are always in control of your perspective of how you see and live your life and so you can be happy if you choose to be no matter what.
This meditation activation removes the fears, brings you comfort and allows you to relax and align with inner union and outer union.
40 mins length
For legal reasons I must state that this MP3 is for entertainment purposes only.
MP3 Plays on iPhone, Android, PC, MP3 player etc.
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