*Warning: This update is very raw and honest and will trigger some of you. But for most of you I know you can handle such truth and actively seek it out :-D* Also, as a side note, to the person who plagiarised my previous update in many places word for word and created your own video claiming it to be your own channelled message, I AM aware (thank you to those who informed me) and I will be taking action if you do it again. By all means it's great to spread the twin flame message, but credit the appropriate authors or truly channel your own. This is a path all about integrity after all.
Okay, so lets get into the update...
So I've talked quite a lot already about "the tower moment" that many twin flames went through recently. These messages are continuing to build upon all the shifts and insights that have come from that moment since. Many of you experienced something happening within your connection that seriously made you wake up and erect healthy boundaries. You realised that you weren't loving yourself and the masculine was the divine messenger to show you that, in most cases by doing something your ego did not like! But many of you are now seeing the bigger picture and are starting to understand why this had to happen.
The tower moment had to be something that would really shake you up and it would have made you feel like your twin was rejecting you in some way. Basically you felt as though your twin flame wasn't loving you as much as you were loving him. You may have felt as though he was prioritising someone or something else above you and it would have made you feel very hurt and resentful, feeling like you were dedicating yourself 110% and him not dedicating himself to you and your connection equally.
But are we being totally honest with ourselves? Truly? Some people have complained that I'm always deducing things to mean it's all the feminine's fault and I'm just letting the masculine off the hook. This is not the case at all! But we need to be super honest with ourselves on this journey. No, the masculine needs to actively heal himself too, but as a feminine myself, I am speaking from the feminine's point of view and therefore looking deeply into what our side of the equation can heal. To be honest, it's the only thing we have any control over, our own healing, and so that's what we should be focusing on. It's pointless saying the masculine needs to heal this, that and the other and focusing on them all the time because then it could start sounding like it's all up to them and we just have to wait around for them for us to be happy. No! 1) It's a 50/50 job, 2) It's never about waiting around for someone else to make us happy or for a set of circumstances to unfold between ourselves and our twin before we can be happy.
So lets be bravely honest with ourselves. Many of us have have been kidding ourselves that it's as black and white as the masculine being the bad guy and the feminine the good. Our ego definitely loves to think that, to play the victim, to feel like the "selfless angel" we were taught by society to become. When we cast the masculine in the "devil" energy, we feel more like the "saint". But we all have both black and white, yin and yang, shadow and light. To be fair society is guilty of stereotyping us into these roles to the point where we believe it's who we are - masculines feel inherently "bad", feminine's feel inherently "angelic victims". Of course, this is a gross simplification in and of itself, but you get my point.
So in that tower moment it looked like your twin was the bad guy (and I'm not condoning bad behaviour) but for many of you, you know only too well just how this mirroring thing works. Be honest, how were you BOTH contributing to the tower moment? I am going to focus on how that tower moment and our twin's behaviour, decisions and actions are a mirror of our own divine feminine energy. And yes, it works the other way around too - we definitely reflect the masculine's vibration he is in. For example, a few years ago my twin needed to create healthy boundaries around his karmic partner and he did that, he ended the relationship with her. Before he even told me that I suddenly put up healthy boundaries with him in certain areas and to me it felt like this impulse within me to do that "came out of nowhere" - I was not expecting to say no to my twin in that moment. But when he told me he broke it off with her (put up healthy boundaries) it suddenly dawned on me that I was reflecting his self-love actions by erecting my own healthy boundaries with him. When either one shifts into a higher vibration, the other follows suit.
So, how was that recent tower moment a reflection of our own feminine energies? Why did something happen that made us feel as though everything came crashing down? Well, firstly it was because both twins were stuck in a rut, in a karmic cycle where they were both playing out old paradigms which simply weren't working to evolve them further down the enlightenment path. Both twins have a shared goal of deeper and deeper awakening. They are each other's mirror to help achieve that. But in the tower moment it felt like your twin simply didn't love you. It felt like an outright rejection. The purpose of this was to crumble the old notion of looking for love outside of self. Were they really rejecting you, or were they repelled energetically by some kind of illusion? What were they trying to show you?
The tower came crashing down because we were finally ready for the next level of awakening. We were ready to be honest with ourselves. It may have appeared that things went backwards, that your divine masculine was no longer just content with going at the pace of a tortoise, but now he was actually going backwards! This would have made you feel seriously fucked off! "As if I haven't been patient enough already!" you would have been thinking. "What a joke!" It would have felt like he was running from you and your ego was hurt big time! But this is the point, to deny your ego what it wants because what the ego wants is counterproductive for your soul growth. The ego wants the quick *sigh* fix (getting your needs met outside of yourself) but your soul does not want that at all - you incarnated together to catalyse each other into deep soul growth which means giving that love to yourself and knowing you are worthy just as you are right now. If your twin was going the speed of a tortoise then you were too in some way... It was just tricky to see it.
The ego believes in the illusion of separation - "I need to find the love and validation outside of myself to know I am worthy", but the soul wants inner union, to find God through looking into oneself and knowing that we are God/dess and nothing is separate from us. Your twin will deny your ego's desire for shortcuts and quick fixes and force you into true awakening. Their higher self will cause them to purposely NOT give you what your ego wants so you are forced to find it all within, find the truth, unpeel the layers to get to your core. This is what's helping you break through the illusions. The tower moment was just another stage of this - a crumbling of ego's immature desires to help you mature into deeper self love, respect and inner union. You were ready for this, it wasn't a "mistake" or a setback. You both wanted out of the stagnation and you both manifested it.
So when it appeared that your twin flame was going backwards, you mistakenly believed that meant you were also gunna have to go backwards because you were putting yourself on hold and waiting for him to decide to come closer before you could be happy. That false believe would have totally exasperated you. You simply knew you could not go backwards anymore! Your soul literally could not do it. For too long we'd tried to hold back our growth to accommodate the masculine's tortoise pace (a reflection of our own too), but you see this was exactly where we'd always being going wrong. We'd suppressed ourselves, put ourselves on hold and that only lead to our twin slowing down further too. I'm not talking about us trying to speed up the union and force it, I am talking about how we needed to always go at our own pace in our own life in general, not slowing down into "waiting" which means stagnating. You slowed down by becoming codependent and moulding yourself to be what you thought they wouldn't reject, they slowed down because they could not get through that block you'd created and love you when you weren't loving yourself. They would have been doing the same thing, worrying more about what you thought of them than being true to themselves. You were both blocked because of fear.
The dm was the divine messenger to show you that you could not stagnate any further. Like I said, your soul literally could not stay in that vibration any longer. Neither could they so they were energetically repelled, which woke you up. The dm needed to light a fire under your ass to force you forward, to break free of your fear based stagnation in the form of holding on, being overly understanding, patient, having no boundaries etc etc. So what appeared to be the dm and connection going backwards was actually your twin's way of PROPELLING YOU FORWARD like never before! See, the dm's were tired of stagnating also, their soul could not handle that vibration and so when we were trying to force things the wrong way (through fear, through looking outside of self for love and healing), the dm was literally forced away from us energetically. That square peg was not going to go through the round hole. They needed to trigger the divine feminine's inner child wounds (that were the exact ones causing us to cling on in fear and illusion of separation) so we were forced to love ourselves once and for all. It would have been something to make us feel "I deserve better than that!" or "I can't wait around any longer!"
Subconsciously we were making the masculine's feel rejected by trying to force things because we weren't believing in their power and strength to be their divine selves. So both ended up feeling rejected. It temporarily forced you to take distance from each other. That state of hermit mode is where all the clarity started flooding in.
They were waiting for the divine feminine to heal, to take back her personal power by providing love for herself. Through what appeared to be the masculine resisting the feminine and union, was really them giving us the time and space to heal ourselves within, to reach a deeper awakening so we could see beyond that illusion of separation. They were helping us to rise up. And when we did, this helped them to rise up too, to see the light, to heal themselves too.
The feminine had been stuck in tunnel vision, holding on tightly to fixed expectations about how she thought things should unfold. It was the separation illusion in operation and union within and without could never happen in that vibration of illusion. Many of us were refusing to let go, to surrender and so the masculine had to step in and create a tower moment to force this shift to actually speed up awakening, healing and union. Like always, the tower was a blessing in disguise.
The Tower Humbled Us
The tower moment was a real shocker! It really smashed open our ego but when the dust settled we realised how it had obliterated the ILLUSIONS of our ego. This is when clarity could come in. We could see how we'd been mirroring our divine masculine all along. How it APPEARED in the past that we wanted one thing and our twin wanted another, how we wanted love and how the masculine was resistant of and rejecting our love. We started to see our own resistance and fears of deep emotional intimacy. We started to see how we weren't loving the masculine and subconsciously rejecting and hurting them.
And this is where it gets super honest. Many of the divine feminine's have begun to realise that their actions towards the masculine were not as loving as they were telling themselves they were. We can now see that our wounded inner child was so fixated on the dm's being the one to give us the ultimate validation and approval that we were doing many things just to get that back in return. There was a price tag on our love - "I will be loving, nurturing, an angel as long as you validate me in return. I'll give you this, so you will give me that." We see how we'd placed conditions on it all. That our real motivation was not to give selfless love, but it was our inner child trying to get it's needs met. We were trying to also become that "perfect, victim, angel" that I mentioned earlier so we could feel innocent, deserving and like we were living up to family's or society's expectation of us as the feminine - meek, mild, pleasing, a good girl etc.
We felt rejected by our twin flame when they literally could not heal us, feed our ego and fill in our voids because the whole point of the connection is to be mirrors to propel you both into your own healing and wholeness. But they also felt rejected by us because we were mostly just wanting our own needs met and we were blind to their needs or frankly not too bothered about what their true needs were. As the feminine, we often feel like the masculine owes us something. Again, I feel this is to do with the imbalances, the separation illusion created by the division of the sexes and all that's entailed over time. They could see that we weren't fully loving them, that we were being selfish (even if it was subconsciously) and that we were blinded by some unrealistic expectations that they could fill in our voids.
What is True Love?
Many of us have been humbled into realising that what we thought was being loving or what we thought love was, was heavily clouded by our wounds, by codependency. The truth is, neither of us were fully available for true love when the wounds are so strongly operating on a subconscious level. This may trigger some of you, but many of us df's realised we were being selfish in many ways, perhaps not completely, but very heavily. Our inner child felt it was the dm's duty to complete us, validate our ego's, jump through hoops to meet our unrealistic expectations. Yes, I know the dm's have also been clouded by their own wounds and were not some selfless angel either, but again, I am talking about the df from my own divine feminine view point right now. The divine masculines have also been selfish in many ways due to their unconscious wounds.
We can see that the emotional unavailability was mutual, a mirror. We could not fully love the masculine until we first loved ourselves and the same goes for the masculine. We've been humbled into realising that we were chasing after a fantasy version of love, some elaborate illusion because we were afraid of the real thing, we were running away from the real thing. When we want a perfect fantasy (as a way to run away from reality) it will never happen because our souls crave real, true intimacy and union. Deep down, we knew it could never happen that way, we were simply biding our time, before we felt ready to step closer to true love and intimacy. It reminds me of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade where they are trying to guess which chalice is the real Holy Grail. The bad guy picks the most elaborate, jewel encrusted grail and takes a sip from it thinking he's going to receive eternal life. Instead he rapidly decays into a skeleton, his own death. Indiana chooses the most modest and humble looking grail and does indeed receive immortality. Sometimes we are seduced by the fantasy because we are looking for a form of escapism. The humble, real love may not immediately satisfy our inner child's desire for wild theatrical validation to make up for all the years we felt we were overlooked and denied many things.
Many of us were scared of true love because it seemed too ordinary, not enough fireworks. We felt we had to be the fireworks, to be the fantasy, to put on an elaborate show just to keep our twin flame's interest. It relates back to our childhood when we felt unnoticed, unspecial and rejected for being our normal selves. We wanted our twin flame to see us as special, as exciting, as a fantasy come to life! We thought that was the only way to receive and sustain the love. We wanted them to idolise us, put us on a pedestal, look up to us, be addicted to us. We thought they would reject us if we were just our normal selves, if we weren't trying to prove ourselves all the time.
We couldn't see how we were wearing a mask, afraid to reveal our true vulnerable selves that had felt so rejected, hurt, betrayed and abused so many times by other people in the past. Although we wanted true, raw, authentic love, at the same time our inner child was petrified that in being our true selves we would bore our twin flame and cause them to abandon us. We felt we had to be something much "more" than anyone else because we didn't trust that we are more than good enough just the way we are.
So there was an inner conflict, a block. One part of us wanted true union (which must come from within first - self love, knowing your worth, knowing you don't have to become someone else), but the other part of us (the inner child) felt unworthy and so put on a mask. That mask was blocking the union. You were not uniting with yourself, and could not unite with your twin. That mask wanted your twin to idolise you, put you on a pedestal, basically create a separation where he worshipped you, looked up to you, saw you as this whole "I want what I can't have" kind of thing.
You'd created a fantasy. The trouble is, this manifested as your twin feeling unworthy of you (a mirror of you feeling unworthy of him) and likely your twin donned his own mask. You secretly saw him as the one on a pedestal above you (and felt you had to earn his approval) but you made out that you were the one on the pedestal so he would stay and seek your approval. A part of you did believed you were "above him" though because you were "being so loving and spiritually mature" but this is the illusion that's come crashing down, the realisation that doing things to get things in return is not as loving or angelic as you were fooling yourself to believe. Many of you have shed a tear for your twin flame's inner child when you realise you weren't fully having their best interest in mind as much as your own, by far.
So the masculine was the catalyst to crumble all this bullshit, all the illusions, the holding on to fantasies that were blocking us from the real thing which is much better, much more grounded than the fantasy. I mean, that's why it wasn't grounding, it was too much of a castle in the sky.
The divine masculine didn't reject you, they rejected your mask - they had to, it wasn't working, it was false and it was repelling you both. That "fantasy" version of you that you thought was gunna keep your dm stuck to your side was actually the thing that broke you apart (the illusions apart). You had to see that only being your true self is the way to go, you have to love your true self, you have to let your twin flame in to see the real you.
Now, I'm not implying that suddenly physical unions are going to happen now the illusions have crumbled. We've all been woken up to see that we were unconsciously holding onto so much bullshit within ourselves and it's all needing time to fizzle away into beautiful truth. We are now at this stage of being inbetween the old and the new. The old is dissolving, deeper truth is emerging and then comes the aligning with that truth.
Now is a time that we need to dedicate ourselves to our own inner union. This means to stop bullshitting yourself just to feed ego. It means being your own best friend, honouring your true self, comforting your inner child for all the times she felt lost, alone and unloved. We've all matured big time. Both the masculine and the feminine now look back at their old self from just a few months ago and we see how much we have shifted. We now see the inner child is no longer the current version of "me". We have shifted out of the wounded inner child (for the most part) and are now becoming the blossoming mature adult self. We are stronger, wiser, happier, freer. We are TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR OURSELVES, our happiness, our sense of meaning in life. We are no longer the lost child, we are our own loving parent.
Would we be here right now if the masculine had not pissed us off enough to crumble all the bs? Nope. Tough love I guess. If my twin and I had just got together straight away with us catering to each other's every ego need, then we would not be having these profound inner insights and shifts into our true selves, into healing and self-union. Honestly, the things my twin forces out of me! :-D I definitely couldn't do it alone. This is the whole purpose of our incarnation here, to see beyond the illusion of separation. If our twin were a bandaid we would fail our mission, not only to ourselves but to those whom we are here to help into deeper ascension. So in many cases the masculine had to rip off that bandaid. It was painful, but we learned, we woke up! Often the masculine's will seemingly go backwards just to show us how we must move forward in our own life, we must go within. It helps us both keep moving forward into our truth. And so here we are, rising out of the illusions and grounding into our true selves, grounding the energies of union consciousness all around us.
This is the biggest transformation I have witnessed within both my own connection and the twin flame collective. This is huge!
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Love and Light to you,
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