A huge wave of divine feminine twin flames have recently received a powerful wake up call, monumental in fact, and this time they're listening and definitely applying the message. For many it took a tower moment to finally hear the call and to step up. Yes, you heard me, the feminine's needed to step up! We often hear about how the divine masculine's need to step up but many of us df's were blind to how we also needed to rise to the occasion in a different kind of way. Many of us worked so hard on healing many things but something more obvious needed to transform, yet we could not see it! Some of us may have *partially* seen what needed shifting, but the tower was the thing to give us the neon flashing sign which could not be ignored.
So what was the message? What was the wake up call? To HONOUR ourselves, to know our worth, to implement healthy boundaries and to face our biggest fear of abandonment by SURRENDERING like never before! We've been called to realise that love and wholeness does not come from outside of ourselves and so it is time to stop trying so hard to chase down the love and the physical union to try and fix the abandonment wound from childhood (and beyond). Yes, we've heard this all before, but for many df's this truth is finally resonating on ALL LEVELS, not just on the intellectual level. We are finally putting this into action. This action to care for ourselves and stop looking for the dm to provide it all for us is how we are stepping up. We are releasing the codependency like never before.
The twin flame divine feminine is starting to fully see that she is ALWAYS lovable just the way she is - she doesn't have to prove herself, bend over backwards, chase after the masculine or anyone for that matter. She doesn't need certain fear based expectations to be met to know her worth. For a very long time many of us were telling ourselves that we were already implementing this kind of self love but we weren't. Many twin flame divine feminines were waiting and trying to coax the masculine towards us, being overly giving in the name of "unconditional love" and quite frankly being a bit of a doormat. We were trying to constantly reassure the masculine, comfort him into his healing, make everything easier for him. But all it did was keep us dependent upon each other.
The feminine was afraid to face her biggest fears of loss through letting go and the masculine was enabled to avoid his healing because the feminine was helping him feel comforted in all the karma he was going through so he felt he could just put up with it because you were always there to be a shoulder to cry on. For twin flames who have not been in contact, many divine feminine's were still in the belief that their happiness would only happen when they got into physical union with their divine masculine. This illusion of happiness and love being outside of self is exactly what blocks us from being able to manifest it on the outside. We MUST find it within first.
Whatever vibration the feminine is in the masculine will mirror back to her in the physical. This is because the divine feminine is more aligned with the higher chakras and is the "visionary", she creates a concept in her mind, a belief and the masculine, aligned more with the lower chakras, is the energy that grounds that concept or belief in the physical. So whatever vibration / perception / illusion / truth the df is aligned with, the masculine will mirror and ground that. So if you are chasing because you are still caught up in the illusion that you must find the love outside of yourself to complete you, the underlying belief is that you are separated from love, that you are unlovable until the masculine proves to you his love etc. You believe you are powerless and unlovable and so the masculine mirrors that belief back to you and remains at a distance, unable to align with you. He is grounding your belief. He's the divine mirror to show you what vibration you're in.
A History of Chasing
Many divine feminines have a past history of this type of approval seeking and it can feel like it comes "out of nowhere". But really this is a deep ancestral pattern passed down to us through our DNA. We have been taught over many centuries to be caretakers and many times the divine masculine did not return home after going off to battle. So a fear of loss became the undercurrent of our feelings towards the dm and masculine's in general. But this goes even deeper still. The fear of loss can be traced back to when our mother gave birth to us and suddenly we were "separate" from our safety and source of love and comfort. We are always seeking that comfort, that home outside of ourselves.
Further still, we have a fear of loss and a belief in separation because when we incarnate we experience amnesia and so feel all alone when deep in the soul we are longing for Home, the higher realms. It feels very scary and lonely on a deep unconscious level. And so we try to cling to whatever or whomever brings us a feeling of deep intimacy, love and home. Both the df and dm feel these fears and the longing to feel connected again, a sense of deep belonging.
But what I also feel has happened over many, many centuries is that the men went off to war, to hunt and gather food etc and women for the most part stayed home or near the home. The men were off in the world busy taking action to protect and provide for their family and the women were home, tending to the children and waiting for the man to return. Women depended on the men for their survival. So they had a deep fear the man wouldn't come home. Does this not have a similar parallel to current day in some ways? The men are off somewhere focusing on other things and the women are left waiting for him to return? In many cases the women do many, many things to try and get the man to return.
This common twin flame scenario leads many divine feminines to put themselves in a position of waiting. For a long time we may not realise it was our own choice to put ourselves in this position. The fear of loss is so real as it's coming from our DNA and soul memory that it just seems like the most natural thing to do in the beginning. Deep down our inner child feels a sense of home with our dm and so that part of us believes he is the one to heal our childhood wound of abandonment. This often stems from (in this lifetime at least) times when we felt we were not loved, truly seen, appreciated, accepted etc by our parents for who we truly are at a young age. We tried to be the "good girl" to get the love, we complied with what we thought our parent's would deem acceptable, we repressed ourselves, putting their needs before our own in order to earn their love and approval. At such a young age this was our instinct for survival so we learned to be overly accommodating to the point of self-repression all in the name of seeking love, safety and validation externally. This was natural at that age.
The Inner Child Seeks a Substitute Parent
The inner child carries around these wounds and looks for a substitute "parent" to love them in order to "fix" the wound. So upon meeting the twin flame the inner child believes the divine masculine (and vice versa) is the one to heal this wound within self because the connection, the love runs so deep. All unresolved wounds from our relationship with our parents become projected into our twin flame connection. We believe on some deep subconscious level that it's his or her responsibility to love us in the way our parents didn't. We start loving the dm in all the ways we want to be loved in return, the ways we wished our parent's loved us. But this is all coming from a deep wound of abandonment and a deep belief that we can only feel whole and worthy if someone else can show us this kind of intense approval. In truth, all the ways in which we want to be loved by another are all the ways we need to give love to ourselves.
The Important Lesson We Came Here to Master
Our souls incarnate here to learn that we are always loved, that we always ARE love, that we are ONE even when everything appears separate in the 3D realm. We are here to experience the pain of this illusion and then realise that it is indeed an illusion. Through awakening and transcending the illusion we help raise the planet into the 5D and beyond, coming out of the separation illusion into unity consciousness. A major part of ending this illusion cycle involves surrendering and giving up trying so hard to earn love outside of self by understanding that we are already lovable just as we are and we don't need external approval. It involves placing trust in the universe so you can loosen your grip on chasing love and focus on the realisation that you are already lovable, always have been and always will be.
Surrender means to let go of the idea that we as the divine feminine's have to micromanage the connection and even our dm! We need to stop trying to control everything because of our fear of loss if we were to simply stop putting in most of, if not, all of the work! When we try to do everything it indicates our deep lack of faith in the universe to love us and provide for us. We feel separated from the universe's love and so we try to take on the universe's role and MAKE everything happen ourselves. This is IMPOSSIBLE because our perception and expectations are way too limited. Only the universe and our soul family can see the bigger picture in order to work divine order to bring about the highest possible outcome. If you are struggling to trust in the universe because you feel a lot of pain and maybe even betrayed by the divine, as if the divine has been preventing you from being happy and receiving love then I have created a powerful healing activation called "I Believe, I Receive: Removing Blocks to Receive Love" which really helps you to see how the universe has been helping you reach your highest good all along, even though it didn't feel like it at the time. This activation is a real eye-opener and can really get you back to trusting which releases a huge weight off your shoulders and allows you to "get out of your own way" and let love manifest in. Details for this powerful activation can be found here.
So How Exactly does the Divine Masculine Send the Wake Up Call
When we refuse to surrender, when we resist facing that huge fear to stop micromanaging because we aren't trusting the universe or our worth, we are simply getting in our own way and slowing everything down. There comes a point where the universe has to step in because we are stagnating too much. And what's the best way to make us wake up, when we are refusing to listen to *them* because we are so focused on the divine masculine? By using the dm as the messenger! THAT will make us sit up and pay attention!
This is exactly when a tower moment happens. In most cases it's something the divine masculine does, or doesn't do, that triggers the tower to come crashing down, that tower, of course, being some kind of false perception or expectation that he/she would be the one to heal our core wound. Totally missing the point in this way and therefore continuing to look in the wrong direction was causing us to get stuck in the illusion cycle. The universe couldn't keep allowing this to go on and on and on.
Both twins were waiting... and waiting... and waiting some more. There was a sense that change was coming, really positive change - we all felt it for many months - HUGE shifts coming. We've all known that shifts within had to be made in order for the shifts to happen on the outside too, but we couldn't see what we needed to change. Many of us had attached expectations to what those changes would be and so we were focusing so much on that, getting tunnel vision, trying to force things. We felt kind of helpless, thinking it was down to the masculine, the masculine felt it was out of their hands because in truth, their spirit was waiting for the feminine to wake up and realise she needs to love herself and not base her sense of self-worth on what the masculine is or isn't doing. He was never going to do what your ego wanted, it would have defeated the whole point of this growth. His purpose has been to deny your ego what it wants so you are forced to finally give up the ego expectation out of total burnout and frustration and do the only thing you can do, the only thing you can control - giving YOURSELF the love.
But for a long time we couldn't comprehend that, our inner child was so fixated on getting the ultimate love and approval outside of self. And so we were waiting... and waiting. Yet life cannot wait, change cannot be stifled forever and so the lightning struck and then it was done in a blink of an eye! Change!! At first it appeared to be change for the worst. The ego could not cope with the shattering of our old perceptions and expectations of how the connection was *meant* to unfold in our eyes. Boom! Those were gone! But when the dust settled we could see that the changes were indeed for the better. It showed us how we'd been holding on too tightly and standing in our own way.
The masculine's higher self simply knew the old way was not working. They could feel the intense pressure building with the divine feminine's expectations to force a square peg through a round hole. It was never gunna happen like that. The wound of separation and looking outside of self (to dm) for wholeness and healing was still operating (and still a faulty way of going about finding wholeness). So when push came to shove, the masculine was shoved away energetically. It could not be any other way. Union could not happen when the old paradigm was still operating. The tower had to happen for the feminine's to receive the biggest wake up call! This is a major shift to help the whole collective! It's no coincidence that many dfs are going through this shift at the same time.
The masculine truly is the divine messenger. They trigger our ego big time and often we are left feeling foolish - we are humiliated at the stark truth we now can see so clearly, which is, just how desperate we were acting! Now don't get offended, I don't mean that in an insulting way, I mean it in a sense where your fears from the old DNA program were so strong that you were acting on them blindly rather than feeling calm and at peace and seeing intuitively and following intuition, having trust and allowing things to unfold in a higher vibration.
You Needed to get PISSED - THAT Would Put a Fire Under Your Ass!
To the degree in which your ego needed to be fucked off in order for you to finally stop the pattern of chasing love outside of self is just how much your twin would have fucked you off in that tower moment. You needed to get so PISSED in order to be triggered into remembering all the times in the past (with other people too) where you put them first (and your own needs last) and they ended up mistreating you or taking you for granted. You needed something to happen to make you feel "Damn! I deserve better than that!" It needed to be dramatic to make you wake up and know your worth and see how you'd been compromising yourself too much for too long. Because until you know your own worth, no one else (including twinny) will see it either. No one will be able to love or appreciate you fully until you love and appreciate yourself fully. Fear and desperation is a belief that you are separate from love and therefore must chase it down and grab a hold of it so tightly so it cannot get away from you. Trouble is, this energy means love doesn't stand a chance of fully aligning with you in the first place.
The masculine will have done something that triggered your ego so badly that it went into complete uncertainty of union ever happening. You thought "I better get busy in loving myself and my life coz union might never happen!" This is a GOOD thing because it made you realise how you'd been placing all your eggs in the union basket, in the future and not in the present moment. It made you realise you had become ungrounded. This is how fear helps us sometimes! It made us balance our inner knowing with logic!! It helped you wake up and smell the coffee. At first the ego would have been telling you "You're such a fool to believe in this twin flame nonsense!" You got busy with life quick to try and ease the fear of feeling like the twin flame thing had totally crumbled in that tower moment. This helped you feel more at peace, you became more comfortable accepting perhaps union might not happen. You knew you would be ok if that was the case - YOU WERE FACING YOUR BIGGEST FEARS OF LOSS! and finally working on yourself and life *Woop!*
After the ego settled, intuition came back, the inner knowing that yes this IS your twin. You could see why the tower had to happen like this. But you'd learnt some really VITAL lessons in this process! To love yourself, to get busy living your life to the full right now, to BALANCE yourself with intuition AND logic, to live in the present moment, to accept whatever happens will happen, to stop chasing love outside of yourself, to stop living for the future, to implement healthy boundaries and learn to say no to things that don't feel right for you, to FACE YOUR BIGGEST FEARS of surrendering!
We are often told to believe, believe, believe in union and it will manifest. Now let me add something here: Please believe the highest possible good will happen between your twin and yourself which *may* lead to a physical union down the road. Please DON'T take this idea of having faith to the extreme where you think that nothing else matters because union's gunna happen no matter what so I don't have to be happy in myself or other areas of my life, i.e. don't place your whole life in the "twin flame union" basket! That's guaranteeing that it won't happen, because you are placing happiness outside of yourself, so you will never truly be happy, because you will always feel shaky that the "happiness" won't always be there forever if the other person or external circumstances change or disappear.
Not Just a Bumper Sticker
This "love yourself first" isn't just a bumper sticker. Yes, it is all stuff we've heard before (many times), but many of us were still not applying it because we were unconscious to how much we were being a martyr to try and get that childhood (and beyond) abandonment wound patched up by our twin. It cannot happen like that! It's all about dissolving codependency by seeing the separation is an illusion in the first place.
So... now we need to talk about some very important things. How can we step up as the divine feminine in order to love ourselves more? What actions do we need to take? Well first we need to surrender. How do we do that exactly? Let me share with you some tips...
How to Surrender
⦁ Get OK with the idea of union not happening. We need to know we can be and will be happy and fulfilled even without a union. This will allow us to release the fear of loss and it will take off the pressure and allow things to unfold naturally. I have created a powerful activation meditation called "Fearless Faith: I AM Safe To Trust" designed to help you face your biggest fear of loss and of union never happening. Facing this fear will dissolve it and free you to allow the love it. Details of this powerful activation can be found here.
⦁ Trust the universe is always trying to bring you your highest good if only you allow them too! (The "I Believe, I Receive: Removing Blocks to Receive Love activation helps tremendously with this)
⦁ Put up healthy boundaries. Fear causes you to NOT implement healthy boundaries. You put up with too much because you still believe that you need your dm to stay and heal your abandonment wounds. But when we have no boundaries we are basically telling our twin flame that we will stick around no matter what and it enables them to avoid doing their healing work too.
⦁ Don't see the idea of not uniting to mean the universe doesn't love you, to mean that you are unlovable. The whole point is to realise that seeking this kind of external validation is causing you to feel stuck in unhappiness and wounding.
⦁ Many of you probably have a pattern of chasing other men or love outside of yourself in the past (I certainly did). Every time chasing fails, the ego wants to resolve that "failure" by continuing to do the same thing (chasing) and get the desired result. But this ego stubbornness is cutting you off from your own happiness. The ego wants to feel right, but you must choose to want to be happy. Chasing is the wrong thing to do, you will never "win" like the ego wants and so potentially you will just keep repeating this cycle and keep feeling "rejected". Your soul is simply waiting for you to wake up and realise this is an EGO pattern. The ego thinks the "rejection" is real, the soul knows it's just a faulty program and is waiting for you to rise above it. See it more as a lesson, not as trying to have a "victory" through continuously chasing to please the ego.
⦁ Know that unconditional love does not mean putting yourself on the line to be hurt over and over because you're trying to be some kind of saint to become "worthy" of love or prove to your twin how deserving you are. You don't have to prove anything. You are worthy simply because you exist.
⦁ Focus on what brings you meaning OUTSIDE of the connection. What are your passions? What things did you used to enjoy doing that you put on a backburner?
⦁ Become receptive, learn to receive rather than giving all the time. Be open to receiving your twin when they are ready to come forward. Give them the space to heal. When you try and force things before either of you are ready, most of their energy will be taken up by trying to keep you at arms length because it's just not the right time. That energy spent protecting their personal space is distracting them from having the time and space to really focus on their healing. Chasing is also distracting you from your healing. When the feminine tries to give the dm all the answers and tries to direct him all the time he has no time to really reflect and come to these conclusions all by himself, hence he stays in a state of confusion.
You will likely need to implement healthy boundaries in your connection also.
How to Know if You Need to Put Up Healthy Boundaries:
⦁ Are you often left feeling angry by something your twin flame did?
⦁ Deep down is the anger you feel directed at yourself for having no backbone?
⦁ Do you feel like you are disrespecting yourself by putting up with certain things from your twin but just "take it" and keep being there and over-giving unconditionally just waiting for him to change?
⦁ Are you being a martyr and just holding out for the future?
⦁ Do you feel angry that your twin has put you in a position where deep down you know you need to put up a boundary but are too scared to? Are you angry that he's / she's done something that triggers that uncomfortable feeling where you know you're not honouring yourself by allowing that?
⦁ Do you just wish your twin flame was perfect and never put you in this awkward position in the first place (which triggers the feeling that you are not honouring yourself)?
⦁ Are you avoiding facing your biggest fear of implementing healthy boundaries because of a fear that in doing so potentially your connection will just fall away coz you're no longer over-giving and just wish he would change instead?
If so, then you are still in the fear vibration and you are stagnating in it. If you aren't willing to face your own fears, your dm won't be willing to face his either and you will keep going in circles with nothing changing (unless of course the universe has to step in a create a painful tower moment to get you moving!)
Okay, So How Do You Implement Healthy Boundaries?
⦁ If something makes you feel like you would be disrespecting yourself for accepting or putting up with it back off and politely explain that you cannot be near them when they are behaving a certain way.
⦁ Try to calm yourself and speak honestly from a place of integrity. Try not to jump in guns blazing when your ego is triggered.
⦁ Try not to blame them and make out they are responsible for your feelings. Act with dignity and take responsibility for your own feelings by stepping back and focusing on creating your own inner joy.
⦁ Once you've put up a healthy boundary don't give in just because you miss them or you miss the way things were (the dysfunctional dynamic). If they truly are your twin then deep down they want the same as you - to be happy, to have a healthy functioning union, and so don't keep enabling this unhealthy dynamic. Your twin can only heal when you shift also, when you heal. Enabling keeps both of you stuck in the fear and dysfunction. Facing your fear by implementing boundaries makes them face their fears too if they want to continue growing.
⦁ Don't just believe in words alone. Yes, your twin flame may really mean what he /she says, but they may not be ready to implement those words into actions, and so give them the time and space to heal on their own as you focus on your own life and healing too.
⦁ Don't wait around and pine for them. Go out and live your life!! Waiting = stagnation of your energies = stagnation of the potential growth of yourselves and your connection. Often this time of physical "separation" (time for healing, soul exploration etc) is a time divinely slotted in for you to do your mission work, to get the word out there to help others!
⦁ Let go of the fear of losing them! Fear will only make you anxious all the time and will cause you to act from a place of fear which is more likely to cause you to go back to the chasing tendencies! Fear only stifles you and brings you down. If the fear of loss is not tackled then even if you did come into union you would still fear losing them (but union cannot happen if the fear is so intense). Have faith that the universe is always supporting you.
I'm not saying these are easy steps to take. For a while you biggest fears of loss will be triggered big time. You believed for so long that micromanaging or babying your masculine was the glue holding everything together! Obviously, you will fear losing them when you stop doing most of or all of the work. But this is how you face your biggest fears and heal them. This is how you get busy in your own life and truly surrender, accepting that whatever will happen will happen. No more putting all your eggs in the twin flame basket. You are becoming much more self-reliant for your own love, joy and deep meaning. If this truly is your twin then they will heal because as you raise your vibration they will be drawn into the higher vibration too to start healing themselves.
Get out of the superiority illusion too. The masculine is just as powerful and awakened as the feminine. Let him do his own work! Don't try and do it all for him - that NEVER works! The dm has been waiting so long for the feminine to heal this old cycle, to shift so he can too!! You see, you have both been experiencing the same fears and blocks - the fear of loss, of abandonment, of rejection. You've both been holding on too tightly to the dysfunctional dynamic between you because at least, you thought, you had each other in *some* way. The fem was afraid to stop micromanaging and "keeping it alive" and the dm was afraid to step closer in case it shattered the df's "fantasy" version of him and union and she abandoned him.
How The Masculine is Shifting
So as the feminine honours herself, faces the fear of loss by handing it over to god and giving the dm the space to do his inner work too, it makes the dm feel her distancing herself from him. This triggers his fears of loss too, so both are forced to do the INNER work to make sure that happiness and emotional stability come from within and not from relying on each other. When union is no longer a life or death situation because we are happy within ourselves and our own lives outside of the connection, when we no longer feel that union *has* to happen or else our life is over, then the fear is dissolved and we can trust more, open our hearts and go with the flow. We are no longer threatened by "loss" because we now know it wouldn't be personal, it wouldn't mean we are unlovable if things didn't work out. We would simply know the universe had other plans for our soul growth. By giving up the tendency to think it's a rejection and that it's personal we are no longer afraid of that pain and so can more easily go with the flow and receive love.
These shifts are highly significant and are creating enormous change in the collective to uplift our consciousness beyond the illusion of separation. Old paradigms that kept us feeling small and powerless are being broken down and we are all stepping into our power. This is HUGE!
I would like to take the time here to thank my twin flame for being the divine messenger of this vitally important collective lesson!! Truly, he is a sweety and I just know that he's set me deeper onto my path to get this message out there to the collective. So to my twin, thank you!
If you would like to understand more deeply what your personal blocks are and what's going on in your twin flame connection then I am offering 50% OFF 15 minute readings for the next 48 hours only (offer ending Monday). After Monday I will close bookings in order concentrate on working on these readings for you all. **Please allow up to 30 days to receive your reading. You can book your reading below:
Love to you on your journey,
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